The economy is so bad that... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America . Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ". When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the 'Suicide Hotline'. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.