Is this a better joke ?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by cvilt, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. cvilt

    cvilt I Love!

    A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.
    Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

    Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

    Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..

    So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

    The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

    'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

    'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

    'Don't you realize I can kill you with
    one word?' asked Satan.

    'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

    'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

    'Yep,' was the calm reply.

    'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

    ' Nope,' said the old man

    More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

    The man calmly replied,

    'Been married to your sister for 48 years."
  2. cutrunner

    cutrunner Cert. Yamaha technician

    I literally spit out my coke. Thanks for that

  3. Brett

    Brett > PRO STAFF <

    At'sa good giggle, so's this

    A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over the display case to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

    Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little “whoops” and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a handsome young salesman standing right behind her.

    Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the aplomb one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's. He politely greets the lady with: “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

    Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little indiscretion, she asks: “Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?”

    He turns and starts to walk away.

    "Where are you going?"

    He answers: "To get some toilet paper Madam... if you farted just looking at it, you're going to need some when I tell you the price.”
  4. cutrunner

    cutrunner Cert. Yamaha technician

  5. cvilt

    cvilt I Love!