Install Husband

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by TomFL, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. TomFL

    TomFL Well-Known Member

    INSTALLING A HUSBAND

    Dear Computer Tech Support,

    Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
    Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:
    NBA 5.0,
    NFL 7.3 and
    Golf Clubs 4.1

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed,
    Desperate.



    DEAR DESPERATE,

    First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
    If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

    In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall another Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications and will totally crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have very limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. At times it operates so poorly that your mouse rejects commands from Husband 1.0
    and shuts down completely. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

    Good Luck Babe!

    Tech Support
     
  2. Brett

    Brett > PRO STAFF <

    Installing Wife 1.0

    To: Technical Support

    Dear Sir,
    Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began creating problems within the system processing and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. I am further noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

    Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. I’m finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

    I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other favorite applications. Whichever module or software I enter, only Wife 1.0 seems to run and nothing else.

    Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0.
    1. "Don't remind me again" button
    2. Minimize button
    3. An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources.

    I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall from Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

    Thanks,
    Confused.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    To: Confused

    Dear Sir,
    This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0 software complain about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of the software.

    Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. In truth Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

    It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed! You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

    Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Worries Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".

    I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding general partnership faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action to solve this major IT problem of yours will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

    In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

    All in all Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

    Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend you to install the latest gift software like Flowers 2.1, Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

    Note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application; in fact it is a deadly virus for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of Luck,

    Tech Support

                                                   [smiley=happy.gif]
     

  3. topnative2

    topnative2 Well-Known Member

    2,201
    378
    938
    that stuff is just to funny

    marriage is the male suicidal gene ;D