Finding a solid fishing partner isn’t easy - and more than good friendship has ended over who shares what...
Just another “ask me how I know moment” for me.
Just another “ask me how I know moment” for me.
Fishing buddies and sharing expenses
With the Micro skiff, I fish by myself but several years back, I had a Proline 20 that I pulled with my F150. When gas was $3.50+ I always tried to find someone to share expenses. A typical trip was $80+. Two negative incidents come to mind. Our VA Chief Fiscal Officer lived on the next block from me. I knew he had an interest in fishing, so I invited him. He was some 15 years older and at least 2-3 pay scale grades higher. He wanted to go, so off we went. We caught a bunch of trout (limit was 15 and we both had limits) and Spanish Mackeral. Just before getting back into town I mentioned I needed to stop for gas. He never bit on "let me help" or anything like that. I finally asked if he could chip in and was shocked when he responded in a tirade and accused me of "what do you think you are, a charter boat?...YOU invited ME, I didn't ask to come! I don't invite people and then try to make them feel obligated to pay for it!!!...etc." He was pretty rough. No problem I said and fueled up and dropped him off at his house with 1/2 of the fish. Two weeks later he actually called me and asked if I planned to fish anytime soon? Answer -- NO F WAY. One other fishing buddy I took a lot was arranged through his wife. She knew my wife well. She would call her and say XX wants to go fishing... I took him 20-30X through a 15 year period. He never ponied up one nickel. His contribution was to buy me breakfast at Hardees on the way down to the Gulf. A $2.00 cup of coffee and sausage biscuit. My ice cost alone for the 151 qt. cooler was nearly $20. I remember the last trip I took him on, gas was $3.89 a gallon. We caught a lot of fish. On the way back I explained I could fish MORE if I had a fishing buddy willing to share some expenses. I wanted to fish the next weekend. If he would have handed me even $30, we would have gone. Because of the cost, I fished 1x per month MAX (its a 170 mile round trip ride to the Gulf for me). The biggest expense was the F150 at 10-12 mpg. He got all tight lipped, was offended, never said 2 words for the rest of the ride home. We never fished again and to my knowledge, his wife never called my wife about taking XX fishing (I never told my wife about this). A year or 2 before (this same guy was in the logging business) in the fall, he said he saw a big buck several times in the same area...but ….couldn't tell me where it was because that would be unethical. What a SOB. These were 2 cheap skate losers. I had many great fishing buddies though. Our VA hospital was always getting new people and if I found out they fished, I invited them. Should I get invited fishing, I always offer to share fuel costs. I fished once on a 40 Ft Chris Craft in Biloxi, it had a sign "This boat runs on GAS, not THANKS."
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Finding a solid fishing partner isn’t easy - and more than one good friendship has ended over who shares what...
Just another “ask me how I know moment” for me.
Just another “ask me how I know moment” for me.
You are totally in the right, but I'd suggest from here on you handle the situation before you leave rather than on the way home---tell them upfront you would like some help w/ the gas $$.
Set expectation up front. Don't wait till the end of the trip. That's going to be a loosing situation.
The first time I lived in Florida I had a larger boat and it was put out long before the day of the trip that the expectation was fuel money and help cleaning it after. Luckily never had an issue with anyone on either obligation. I don't know if it's just the crowd I associate with but it seems weird to me that these folks you are fishing with get so upset about you asking for money. Seems very snowflakey!
Common curtesy would be for the guest to offer upfront to help in any way--buy fuel, ice, bait, bring lunch, etc.
Monty, I gotta slightly disagree with your approach here. You invited them with no notice of any monetary arrangements. You set yourself up for failure.
I invite guys out all the time, and never expect anyone to kick, but am happy if they offer. When I go out on other guys boats we always talk about splitting the bill before hand.
In my circle it would be considered rude to ask for money after the fact. At the time of the invite it's ok as long as it's prefaced. IE, "hey if you want to split the cost I'm thinking about going out this weekend."
If you invite them and then slip the cost in there that's not cool either. While most will still come, they might not a second time. IE "I'm going out this weekend wanna come?....Sure sounds great....cool that will be $50 for fuel".
If you invite guys out, without talking about money, and they don't even offer to help, then you need to find a better class of fishing buddies imho.
I invite guys out all the time, and never expect anyone to kick, but am happy if they offer. When I go out on other guys boats we always talk about splitting the bill before hand.
In my circle it would be considered rude to ask for money after the fact. At the time of the invite it's ok as long as it's prefaced. IE, "hey if you want to split the cost I'm thinking about going out this weekend."
If you invite them and then slip the cost in there that's not cool either. While most will still come, they might not a second time. IE "I'm going out this weekend wanna come?....Sure sounds great....cool that will be $50 for fuel".
If you invite guys out, without talking about money, and they don't even offer to help, then you need to find a better class of fishing buddies imho.
Get a guide license 
I'd rather somebody not pay than steal my spots.
I usually pay for gas, and have them pay for bait/parking. Evens out, but i think its important to mention it way head of time. "Were gonna fish, ill get this (xxx) you take care of this (xxx). My bigger boat fills up on 10 gallons and only buy 2dozen shrimp at a time so not a big loss either way. But important to tell people so they know.
Thank you. I agree, as a "host" talking $$$ is impolite. I wouldn't ask someone to dinner and then say "now that dinner is over, how about kicking in $10 for the steak you ate." But when I'm a dinner guest, I bring a bottle of wine/6 pack for my host. On the other hand, when I fish on your boat, I will 100% offer to split fuel costs and my host won't have to suggest it. I handled it poorly as did they.
They didn't mind splitting the fish though...back then (late 1998 - 2003) we caught ice chests full. And the 2nd guy invited himself through his wife, my request to him was for help on future trips.
Making sure expectations are known ahead of time is key. I'll say, I rarely invite anyone these days and when I do, I don't expect a nickel. My last trip with a guest was in December, he offered $$, I said thank you but no thank you.
But the real lesson here is when you're invited fishing and think you might want to go again...OFFER TO HELP WITH FUEL COSTS. This was written more for someone to read who might end up being a "guest" on a boat versus the host.
They didn't mind splitting the fish though...back then (late 1998 - 2003) we caught ice chests full. And the 2nd guy invited himself through his wife, my request to him was for help on future trips.
Making sure expectations are known ahead of time is key. I'll say, I rarely invite anyone these days and when I do, I don't expect a nickel. My last trip with a guest was in December, he offered $$, I said thank you but no thank you.
But the real lesson here is when you're invited fishing and think you might want to go again...OFFER TO HELP WITH FUEL COSTS. This was written more for someone to read who might end up being a "guest" on a boat versus the host.
NOGet a guide license
This all sounds real stressful to me. I'm glad I have a setup that is cheap to operate. If somebody doesn't offer anything it doesn't really hurt my feelings honestly. I'd be going fishing whether they came or not so the cost is sunk to me one way or the other. Now if they OFFER me some money I ain't rich and I'll probably take it. But I'm not going to ask for it, not my style.
You are to blame if you don't mention costs beforehand to a non boater. I don't think it is rude at all to mention costs for expensive trips. I think it would be rude to mention the cost split after to an unaware non-experienced boater. I don't ask for anything on inshore but when I go offshore I tell people up front what they need to bring in cash for cost split if they want to go. They don't get their fish split until they split cost and I am fine if they want to go for free and not split fish.Thank you. I agree, as a "host" talking $$$ is impolite. I wouldn't ask someone to dinner and then say "now that dinner is over, how about kicking in $10 for the steak you ate." But when I'm a dinner guest, I bring a bottle of wine/6 pack for my host. On the other hand, when I fish on your boat, I will 100% offer to split fuel costs and my host won't have to suggest it. I handled it poorly as did they.
They didn't mind splitting the fish though...back then (late 1998 - 2003) we caught ice chests full. And the 2nd guy invited himself through his wife, my request to him was for help on future trips.
Making sure expectations are known ahead of time is key. I'll say, I rarely invite anyone these days and when I do, I don't expect a nickel. My last trip with a guest was in December, he offered $$, I said thank you but no thank you.
But the real lesson here is when you're invited fishing and think you might want to go again...OFFER TO HELP WITH FUEL COSTS. This was written more for someone to read who might end up being a "guest" on a boat versus the host.
Most everyone on this forum owns a boat and understands the costs..
Most everyone on this forum seems to have "lousy" fishing friends as well. Then again maybe some of them are the problem
Sometimes it's alright if someone can't make the best cast if they are a good friend. Tossing live bait and having a beer is pretty fun or taking someone who can't afford to go but makes a good first mate pays for itself in spades especially offshore with an inexperienced crew.
Fishing is about spending time with friends and family and getting away from the day to day world.
I’ve turned down plenty of offers to head offshore with guys in big boats because I know I can’t afford to pull my weight in fuel costs.
I’m looking for someone to go fishing and split cost. If those are not your first words then that person will generally not fork anything over that trip or any other.
With my current Etec powered skiff and 2 minute drive from the ramp, if someone asks me to take them I may suggest some paper contribution. If I invite them, then I don’t ask.
With my current Etec powered skiff and 2 minute drive from the ramp, if someone asks me to take them I may suggest some paper contribution. If I invite them, then I don’t ask.
G
QUOTE="Monty, post: 592746, member: 19282"]With the Micro skiff, I fish by myself but several years back, I had a Proline 20 that I pulled with my F150. When gas was $3.50+ I always tried to find someone to share expenses. A typical trip was $80+. Two negative incidents come to mind. Our VA Chief Fiscal Officer lived on the next block from me. I knew he had an interest in fishing, so I invited him. He was some 15 years older and at least 2-3 pay scale grades higher. He wanted to go, so off we went. We caught a bunch of trout (limit was 15 and we both had limits) and Spanish Mackeral. Just before getting back into town I mentioned I needed to stop for gas. He never bit on "let me help" or anything like that. I finally asked if he could chip in and was shocked when he responded in a tirade and accused me of "what do you think you are, a charter boat?...YOU invited ME, I didn't ask to come! I don't invite people and then try to make them feel obligated to pay for it!!!...etc." He was pretty rough. No problem I said and fueled up and dropped him off at his house with 1/2 of the fish. Two weeks later he actually called me and asked if I planned to fish anytime soon? Answer -- NO F WAY. One other fishing buddy I took a lot was arranged through his wife. She knew my wife well. She would call her and say XX wants to go fishing... I took him 20-30X through a 15 year period. He never ponied up one nickel. His contribution was to buy me breakfast at Hardees on the way down to the Gulf. A $2.00 cup of coffee and sausage biscuit. My ice cost alone for the 151 qt. cooler was nearly $20. I remember the last trip I took him on, gas was $3.89 a gallon. We caught a lot of fish. On the way back I explained I could fish MORE if I had a fishing buddy willing to share some expenses. I wanted to fish the next weekend. If he would have handed me even $30, we would have gone. Because of the cost, I fished 1x per month MAX (its a 170 mile round trip ride to the Gulf for me). The biggest expense was the F150 at 10-12 mpg. He got all tight lipped, was offended, never said 2 words for the rest of the ride home. We never fished again and to my knowledge, his wife never called my wife about taking XX fishing (I never told my wife about this). A year or 2 before (this same guy was in the logging business) in the fall, he said he saw a big buck several times in the same area...but ….couldn't tell me where it was because that would be unethical. What a SOB. These were 2 cheap skate losers. I had many great fishing buddies though. Our VA hospital was always getting new people and if I found out they fished, I invited them. Should I get invited fishing, I always offer to share fuel costs. I fished once on a 40 Ft Chris Craft in Biloxi, it had a sign "This boat runs on GAS, not THANKS."[/QUOTE]
With the Micro skiff, I fish by myself but several years back, I had a Proline 20 that I pulled with my F150. When gas was $3.50+ I always tried to find someone to share expenses. A typical trip was $80+. Two negative incidents come to mind. Our VA Chief Fiscal Officer lived on the next block from me. I knew he had an interest in fishing, so I invited him. He was some 15 years older and at least 2-3 pay scale grades higher. He wanted to go, so off we went. We caught a bunch of trout (limit was 15 and we both had limits) and Spanish Mackeral. Just before getting back into town I mentioned I needed to stop for gas. He never bit on "let me help" or anything like that. I finally asked if he could chip in and was shocked when he responded in a tirade and accused me of "what do you think you are, a charter boat?...YOU invited ME, I didn't ask to come! I don't invite people and then try to make them feel obligated to pay for it!!!...etc." He was pretty rough. No problem I said and fueled up and dropped him off at his house with 1/2 of the fish. Two weeks later he actually called me and asked if I planned to fish anytime soon? Answer -- NO F WAY. One other fishing buddy I took a lot was arranged through his wife. She knew my wife well. She would call her and say XX wants to go fishing... I took him 20-30X through a 15 year period. He never ponied up one nickel. His contribution was to buy me breakfast at Hardees on the way down to the Gulf. A $2.00 cup of coffee and sausage biscuit. My ice cost alone for the 151 qt. cooler was nearly $20. I remember the last trip I took him on, gas was $3.89 a gallon. We caught a lot of fish. On the way back I explained I could fish MORE if I had a fishing buddy willing to share some expenses. I wanted to fish the next weekend. If he would have handed me even $30, we would have gone. Because of the cost, I fished 1x per month MAX (its a 170 mile round trip ride to the Gulf for me). The biggest expense was the F150 at 10-12 mpg. He got all tight lipped, was offended, never said 2 words for the rest of the ride home. We never fished again and to my knowledge, his wife never called my wife about taking XX fishing (I never told my wife about this). A year or 2 before (this same guy was in the logging business) in the fall, he said he saw a big buck several times in the same area...but ….couldn't tell me where it was because that would be unethical. What a SOB. These were 2 cheap skate losers. I had many great fishing buddies though. Our VA hospital was always getting new people and if I found out they fished, I invited them. Should I get invited fishing, I always offer to share fuel costs. I fished once on a 40 Ft Chris Craft in Biloxi, it had a sign "This boat runs on GAS, not THANKS."
G
Never asked anyone for a dime when they're on my boat if I can't afford to run it vehicle included if towing then I need to sell it. Lots of tight wads out there. rather fish by myself anyway most everybody is a pain in the ass. A bunch of sissy's.
Screw-em!
Screw-em!
I normally never ask anyone to split fuel if going fishing since I was going to spend it myself if they didn’t come. It’s just nice to actually get to stand on the bow and having someone that can trade poling time with. I do make it a point to say that I expect help cleaning up the boat after though. I once took a friend’s little brother who thought the act of fishing meant loading a cooler brim full of beer and trying to drink it all while not giving a damn about catching fish. I made him clean up the whole boat because it was littered with a case of beer cans and stank to high heaven. Also made him pick up dinner since I was his ride back.
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