A lady goes into Wal-mart...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by boggob, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. boggob

    boggob Beer me.

    ...to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
    He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway.

    He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it."

    He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

    He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

    She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?"

    He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
  2. tom_in_orl

    tom_in_orl Founder of Microskiff, Member of the Gheenoe Army



  3. thresher

    thresher Well-Known Member

    Tom C and Laurie were stopped by the FWC in Mosquito Lagoon recently with a livewell full of snook. The game warden asked the Tom, "Do you have stamps on your licenses to catch those fish?"
    Tom replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are our pet snook."
    "Pet snook?" the warden replied.
    "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the 'ghoon and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into the livewell, and I take em home."
    "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
    Tom looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
    "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now. Tom poured the fish in to the lagoon and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to Tom and said: "Well?"
    "Well, What?" Tom responded.
    "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
    "Call who back?" Tom asked.
    "The FISH."
    "What fish?" Tom asked
  4. Brett

    Brett > PRO STAFF <

    FWC officer was checking boats as they came
    back to the ramp at Chokoloskee.
    He would open coolers, check livewells but no
    one was catching fish. As he was about to
    call it a day, an old man pulled in to the
    ramp in a small aluminum skiff. The officer
    watched as the old guy loaded the boat on a trailer
    and then drove to the cleaning table.
    Out of the cooler came 10 of the biggest
    snapper the officer had ever seen.
    "Nice fish"
    "Where'd you get them?"
    "A spot I know"
    "I'd like a spot like that!"
    "Be here tomorrow at 6 am, I'll take ya."
    As the next day was the officers day off,
    he accepted. 6 am he was waiting at the ramp
    when the old guy showed up. Helped launch the
    boat. Put a rod and a small cooler on board
    and off they went. An hour later far back in
    the backcountry, the old man pulled up to a
    mangrove tree and tied off. As the officer
    readied his rod the old guy pulled out 4
    sticks of dynamite, lit one and tossed it
    upstream. All sorts of fish floated to the
    top after the explosion.
    The officer was in shock "You can't do that!"
    The old guy lit another stick and handed it to him,
    "You gonna talk......or you gonna fish?"
  5. thresher

    thresher Well-Known Member

    You gonna talk or you gonna fish - I really liked that one. [smiley=y-10.gif]
  6. Brett

    Brett > PRO STAFF <

    Two women at the next table were discussing their husbands hobbies
    over breakfast this morning. This comment caught my attention:

    I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that
    it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"
  7. Brett

    Brett > PRO STAFF <

    Re: fish grins

    One morning I was out in the boat and not having any luck at all.
    My bud was casting about 20 feet from me and was catching fish
    as fast as he cast his line out. Made me curious, we were both using
    live pinfish from the same livewell. So I asked the him what he was doing
    different. He said "Before I cast, I dip my pinfish in this cup"
    "Mind if I try?"
    "Go ahead."
    I tailhooked my next pinfish, dipped it in the cup and cast.
    No sooner than my bait hit the water, wham, my line took off.
    I got the fish to the boat and netted it. Something didn't look quite right.
    The hook wasn't in the fish's mouth, in fact the hook wasn't in the fish at all.
    The pinfish had it's teeth buried in the bigger fish's throat, and wouldn't let go.
    "Hey, what's in that cup?"